Spring Forward, In all that we do!

It is that time of year again that the Spring has FINALLY joined us! And all I can say is AMEN!!!!! God is so good and I am so glad he has decided to bless us with the warmer weather, because I don't know how much digit-freezing cold I could take!! I mean I stay cold even during the warmer times of the year, but when its cold all the time, it makes it even harder on me. With all of my joint issues, cold weather is awful on me. Plus all the sickness it brings to all in my household, I am not sad at all to see it go. Except for the memories. For some reason I always feel like its never enough. Like I don't do enough. I don't take enough pictures. I don't buy enough things. I don't buy the right things for me or anyone else. I don't give the right gifts. I don't help enough. I don't do "It" right, ever. "It" changes every second, with every moment, with every person, with every situation. Like I am not doing anything as well as everybody else is doing it. Like I watch everyone else do the things that I wanted but I didn't know how to do it. Why don't I know how to do as well as everyone else does? While do I feel like such a "slacker?" I love my daughter, my husband, my family and my friends more than myself at most times. I just don't know if I show that to them. I get tired of saying it b/c I think I sound like a cd with a scratch on it, playing the song but parts are not getting through like you want. I hear that I am a great mom, great wife, great daughter, sister, Aunt, niece, cousin and friend. But am I really a great one or are I being told that b/c its whats "nice" to say or "right" at the moment. I don't feel like it. Even if I do everything I can or try my hardest, I still don't' feel like its enough. I read posts and blogs and comments from other people about what they do and I wish it was me! "Gosh, I wish I could take great pics like that", or "I wish I was creative enough to make that!" "I wish I was smart enough to do that or smart enough to have thought of that, or creative enough to have thought of doing it that way." Really, when is enough, REALLY enough? Does anyone know? I love my life, and I am blessed beyond measure but I want to know that I am enough for it. Like I am doing IT justice. Does that make sense to anyone else? In 5 weeks and 3 days, I will be the mother of a 1 year old! Can you believe that? I can't. I already miss my baby-baby. I want my daughter to grow, learn, be happy and be the best that she can be. But I also want to stop the clock and just hold her while she sleeps and just stare at her. I love that little girl so much. God gave me the greatest child ever! I know, I know i am a little partial b/c she is mine but I am so so so so so lucky to be her mother. God could have given her to anyone else, and he picked me! That's how lucky I am!!! Sorry to kind of started out with the sad or mind boggling stuff but when you blog, you just type as you think. Well, I will end for now. Gotta wake her up from her nap and start supper for the family! I will write more again soon. We got Cayton's 1st Birthday, My Birthday and My First Mother's Day coming up so I will have a lot to let you in on!!