Well I know that it has been at least 4 months since I have wrote on here and I want to send out apologies to everyone. A new baby takes up most of my time these days so I only get on here when the Princess is sleeping or I have everything done here at the house. So, if you didn't know, our little girl Miss Cayton Mae made her debut on May 23, 2010 at 11:51am. She weighed 7 lbs. and was 20 inches long. She had red hair and a perfectly round little head. The most Amazingly Beautiful Baby ever! ( I'm a little partial) She is now 3.5 months and growing like a weed. We took her for her 2 month check-up and she was growing perfectly! We go on Oct. 1st for her 4 month check-up and shots, which I'm not looking forward to since I have to do this time solo. Every other time she has had a Dr. appt. I had a helper but not this time and I am nervous but it has to be done!
Lately, I have had some "downer" days and I wish I could just not worry about the stupid stuff and just enjoy. Don't get me wrong, I know my husband, my family & my "true" friends love me but only some people really know what you are going through. If you know me, you know I am a worry wort and my mind constantly runs about 300 miles a second. I don't rest or relax when I should and I sometimes break down from being over-loaded. I am so much like my dad, caring what people think of me and of what I have, that I worry all the time. I shouldn't care what people think. I love my life and should be happy with whatever way it is b/c its mine and no one Else's. but I can't. If you didn't know, i lost my job right before Christmas. I was let go/laid off sort of. They pretty much cam in on a Mon. and told me that the next day would be my last b/c they needed me. And that they hired a new girl to start in 2 weeks. I was let go pretty much b/c I was pregnant & I didn't want to go back to full time til after the baby got here but they didn't care. I supposedly worked with a bunch of "Christian" women but it was nothing but a gossip/stab-in-the-back drama filled place. From day one I realized that they talked about each other behind their back & then buddy/buddy to your face. The director was even a pastor's wife and she was the most UN-christian like person i had ever met. I talked to my pastor's wife about it and she was in shock at what I told her. I really only showed up for my student and their parents b/c they were the normal ones there. I mean they treated everyone wrong, 2-faced is what they did. Chew someone out for one thing and they let somebody else get away with it b/c they were buddies. I mean, I was given a Christmas bonus before I left but it was less than what everyone else got. An I had been there for over a year! Longer than some of the others who worked there. This is the first time I have said anything out loud about what happened there, except to my family. I thought I had made a few friends in the end, but when I lost my job I was quickly reminded how little they thought of me or my unborn child. My boss could have possibly put my child's life or mine in jeopardy but that's long story & will fill you in if you ever ask. Some of my parents from there ended up being some of my great friends. I still talk to them today. And I am blessed b/c I have those sweet ladies and their children in my lives! Love you Vanessa, Cassandra, Stacy! & the kids too! all I have to say is i prayed to God to lead me & when i was let go I realized it was a BLESSING! I was told by people before I started that it was a bad place to work & when I left, I had people tell me ( and I finally understood) that it was a good move to leave there. What kind of Christian based facility prides themselves on degrading others? They really need to step back and do some WWJD! That's all I'm saying.
But on to other things. Since I lost my job, I continue to pray for God to lead me and my family in the direction we need to go. I look for a job but have heard nothing & I know God will give me a job when HE thinks I need one. SO, from now on I will enjoy my days with my beautiful daughter & husband. I will be thankful for all the little things I have whether they be less than what someone else has. I will be the friend that I want to have and nothing less! I will continue to praise a Glorious God & never second guess what he has planned for me. I will love my family & my friends with all that I have b/c we are never promised tomorrow. I will do my best to be the best Mommy & Wife to the most precious things I have! I will strive to be as strong of a woman as my Momma & my Gram. I will do what I can, when I can & how I can. And I will (try) to worry less & Love as much as my heart will let me. I hope that if you read this, even though it seems to be a bunch of rambling on this post, you understand a little bit more of me & that in someway I put something positive in your day! I assure you the next post will be a little bit more organized & informative on my Journey as The Farmer's Daughter.
love,
Me
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